I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
