I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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