This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
