it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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