i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
