party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize