So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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