Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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