okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
