I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
