make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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