the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
