im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
