I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
