No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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