im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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