Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
