where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
