I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize