My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
