The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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