I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
