I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
