I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
