oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
