at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
