well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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