need another drink. this is the easiest way
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize