He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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