A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
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neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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