Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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