also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
