he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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