She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
