so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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