I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
high people should be assigned attendants
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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