Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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