Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
