isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
