I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
