Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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