Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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