Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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