ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
