69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
