Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
