just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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