My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
