Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We got so high we made milksteak
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
