Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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