Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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