I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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