He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
