Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
