I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
