Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Everclear isn't food dammit
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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