i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
