careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
